


23 Total, 7 Kids

by dancemagic



Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brotherhood, Gen, Military, Missing Scene, SEAL Team 1x02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 09:03:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20171689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancemagic/pseuds/dancemagic
Summary: Even after all these years and all the despicable things he’s seen, there’s one thing Jason's never developed a numbness to – the mistreatment of children.Small missing scene from episode 1x02, "Other Lives."





	23 Total, 7 Kids

Jason Hayes has seen evil people treat other human beings in truly horrible ways. 

Unfortunately, it comes with the job. And it happens with far too much regularity.

As much as he wishes it wasn’t the case, he knows he’s developed a numbness to the horrors he witnesses as an operator. He’s become desensitized. They all have. It’s partly because they see too much of it. But more than that, it’s because they have to be able to push the awful things they see to the very back of their minds in order to do their jobs properly. 

The numbness is an involuntary coping mechanism; a tool.

But even after all these years and all the despicable things he’s seen, there’s one thing he’s never developed a numbness to – the mistreatment of children. 

As the C-17 becomes airborne, Jason sighs heavily, running his hands through his hair. 

Against pretty steep odds, they successfully completed the mission. 

But this one doesn’t feel like a win. 

The little Syrian boy couldn’t have been older than about five years old. From the moment his small hand reached out to weakly grab Jason’s arm, the Bravo team leader knew he wasn’t going to be able to leave him behind. Or the other 22 innocent civilians who had been deliberately contaminated with VX in the old hospital.

Sonny’s words repeat on a loop in his head – _I ain’t gonna look at their faces_.

Jason understood the sentiment, but he knew it was bullshit. Sonny Quinn wasn’t any more capable of standing by and doing nothing while 23 helpless people died a slow, painful death than he was. Than any of them were. 

But it was still a tough conversation. And he knows Sonny’s points were valid. 

Because Jason’s responsibility comes to his men first. 

Always. 

No matter what the “we have to succeed at any cost” mission might be, Jason’s first priority is _always_ going to be getting his men back home safely. There are some costs he isn’t willing to pay. But he knows what his team is capable of, and he would never ask them to do something he didn’t think they could accomplish, though he knows that’s sometimes a pretty thin line.

So he does understand where Sonny was coming from. 

But Sonny isn’t a father.

Jason can’t help but think of his own son. Those comparisons are inevitable when there are kids involved. It doesn’t feel like it’s been all that long since Mikey was that age, still completely trusting, with boundless energy and imagination, and a belief that his daddy could do anything. 

But even more than Mikey, the little boy reminded him of Nate’s son, Landon. Both boys lost their fathers to the fight, though in very different ways. But Landon has Molly, a supportive extended network of people who love him, and the benefit of having been born to a middle class American family. There are people lining up to help Jason’s godson, and the little boy in Syria deserved to have someone do the same for him. 

But he ran out of time. 

And Jason didn’t even know his name. 

“Sorry ‘bout the little guy,” Sonny says, settling down next to him. 

“Yeah, me too.”

“And I’m sorry I challenged you,” the Texan says with a lowered head, scuffing his boot on the floor. “Didn’t see a way out, and I thought you were too caught up in it. Should’ve trusted you’d work it out.”

“You should never apologize for sharing an opinion, Sonny. You know that.”

And he means it. In his early days as a team leader, Jason learned the hard way what the consequences are of assuming you always have the right answer. So he values any input his friends give. Doesn’t always mean he’ll ultimately choose the suggested course, but he’ll always consider it. He owes them that.

They sit in silence for a moment before there’s a sudden surge of celebratory noise as Ray shows Brock and Trent his phone. Jason assumes Naima sent a photo of his new son. 

“How ‘bout that, huh?” Sonny says with a grin. “Another ankle biter Uncle Sonny can start working to corrupt.”

“Yeah,” Jason says with a sad smile, watching his best friend across the way. 

“Okay…” Sonny drawls hesitantly. “Are we not excited there’s gonna be a little version of Ray runnin’ around?”

“I’m thrilled about the baby. And so happy for Ray and Naima,” Jason says genuinely. “That little guy already has so many people who love him. Who would move the world for him.” 

Realization dawns on Sonny’s face and he nods slowly. “But that boy didn’t.”

Jason’s head falls back against the wall of the plane with a frustrated thunk. He feels like he should have been able to do more; like he didn’t try hard enough. 

“There’s no one left to even know he’s gone,” he finally says. “To notice the absence.” 

“And it sucks,” Sonny says with understanding. “Really, it’s awful. And I’m mad at myself for ever even thinking we should have left those people there.”

“Sonny…” Jason starts.

“No, Jace, stop,” Sonny interrupts. “Let me finish. I’m mad at myself, but proud of you. We saved a lot of people today. And that’s because of you.” 

Sonny pauses, works the toothpick in his mouth before continuing. “It was just too late for him, man. There’s nothing else you could have done.”

“There’s always something else,” Jason huffs. 

“You know that’s not true, Jay.” 

Jason knows Sonny’s right. That they did everything they could have done. But it’s a hard pill to swallow. And he feels like he’s just admitting defeat.

“There’s a lot of bad out there,” Sonny continues. “Enough to make your blood boil. It’s just the way the world is.” 

Jason nods, still not ready to climb out of his sulk. 

“So you know what you do?” Sonny asks with some pep in his voice, likes he’s determined to yank his friend out.

Jason tilts his head in question.

“You pour all the good you can muster into Ray’s new little one. And Jameelah. Emma, Mikey and all the others.”

Jason feels his own eyebrows climb up his forehead. “When did you get so wise?” he asks incredulously.

Sonny gives him a wink as he gets up to join the others. 

“Shhh,” the Texan whispers. “You’ll ruin my reputation.” 

And Jason smiles.


End file.
